We Are Freaks….

Try this little experiment. Pick a public place, a grocery store, a bar, maybe a mall. Stand there with a clip board and ask random strangers what their favorite lolcat is. Ask them if they know that longcat is looonnnggg. See if they know who Anonymous is locked in battle against.

We have this weird disconnect with the world these days. The internet has provided us with such a detailed method of social interaction and we have formed amazing communities around it. Places where we interact with hundreds, even thousands of people. We spend so much time there, that it’s easy to forget that most of the people around us in real life, well, don’t.

And when we starts saying things like “Jesus Christ, it’s a lion, get in the car”, they just sort of stare at us blankly. It’s a situation I’ve become adjusted to and even enjoy. I like those blank stares. I like being in on the joke, no matter how stupid the joke may be.

And let’s face it, a lot of our internet jokes are really stupid. They become funny through repetition or through absurdity, but they’d never make decent stand up material.

The internet makes us feel like we’re on the cutting edge of a great, societal leap forward. But are we? The outside world seems to be sludging along at the same pace as it always has, full of willful ignorance and uninformed opinions about, well, everything.

I may be sitting at my computer tonight, discussing the role of the femme fatale in classic film noir and how to bring that into a more modern piece without resorting to cliche. However, Bubba and Billy Joe are still drinking a twelve pack of Coors and going out to tip some cows.

Sometimes I wish I could live like a complete hermit, locked away from the real humans walking around out there, limiting my social interactions to you, my internet friends. You are my people…..

Everyday is A Full Moon On The Interwub

Anyone who has ever used an instant messaging program has probably gotten their share of odd requests and come ons. Many, if not most, pretty high on the offensive scale. I’m not sure why these strange interwub perverts feel the need to show their penises to every stranger that passes by, but they do.

I suspect that girls get many more of these odd requests and propositions than guys do. Most, I suspect, brush the pervs off and try to forget about them.

My friend Elana is a little different. She likes to toy with them and then post transcripts of the results on her LiveJournal. The entries are often hilarious and occasionally enlightening. You should read them.

Well, go on, what are you waiting for….?

Groovin’ On The End of The World

Working on a new project.

A web site of fiction (prose, comic, audio, video) all set in the same world, a post-apocalyptic type of place, with stories by different writers and artists, told in different forms.

We’re only in the planning stage at the moment and we’re still looking for more contributors (six of us are on board right now). If you’d like to play with us, or help in some other way (web design, proof reading, etc), please drop in. The discussion site is on the ning network, signing up is quick and painless.

http://endisnigh.ning.com

The Internet Reminds Me Why I Hate People

There was a story about Pierce Brosnan that broke today, over at TMZ and later picked up by Reuters. It’s nothing major, seems he was accosted by a paparazzi while he was at a mall with his kids, words were exchanged and Brosnan ended up hitting the photographer. A fairly typical Hollywood story these days and I only clicked on the article because I’m a fan of Brosnan’s and I was curious. He doesn’t make headlines very often, especially like this.

I don’t really have an opinion on the story. He probably shouldn’t have hit the guy, but shit happens. It’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things and it’s a very small blemish on an otherwise spotless career.

What bothers me (what always bothers me) is the reader reaction. Reading through the comment thread at TMZ made me want to take a shower. Insults and hostility pepper the thread, from references to Brosnan being a has-been to insinuations that he used to beat his girlfriend.

Why do people find it necessary to denigrate every celebrity that comes along? What is it inside of us, as a species, that makes us enjoy such an activity? I understand the occasional potshot at a Britney or a Paris, especially when they go out of their way to make themselves targets, but most of this stuff is just mean. Go read through some of the threads at Fark and you’ll see what I’m talking about.

Is it the relative anonymity of the internet that brings out the worst in people?

(On a side note, when did we reach the point in our culture where someone is a has-been if they aren’t actively in a top ten movie? What’s the definition here? Brosnan seems to have a pretty solid career at the moment. He’s moved from big budget affairs like the Bond series to some more offbeat or arty pictures like The Matador and Seraphim Falls, but that appears to be a conscious choice on his part. A look at IMDB shows several projects in the works for the next couple of years. He’s not hurting for work. Likewise, the net is full of discussions that refer to Tom Cruise as a has-been and his last movie made over $200 Million. I seem to be missing something here.)

A decade ago politicians were declaring that the internet would unite diverse people in ways that were previously impossible. Looks like they were right. Mob mentality is taking hold and the citizens of the net have been united in hatred of, well, just about everything.

Except cats.

Tony Sirico is King of The Weird Search Trends

Did Tony Sirico kill somebody today or something? I’ve got almost two dozens hits from people searing for Tony Sirico and the only time I’ve ever mentioned him was in a post about the finale of The Sopranos. And this is the only day he’s ever popped up in the search term list for here. Very strange.

Probably the most common search that brings people here these days is for “flickr girls”, which I guess shouldn’t surprise me. Some other search terms raise an eyebrow, though. Check out the following list:

things to do outside with 2 people

daleks speaking

neither land fucking

Aleister crowley ring

inside-out penis

maher part of the conspiracy

“on an on and on”

(and people think I’m strange….)

State Of The Blog

It’s been a busy week for me, in the real world. Haven’t had a lot of online time (and that will continue for a few more days, my wife is in town, need to spend some quality time) and there hasn’t been a lot that’s inspired me to blog. I do have a few notes for next week, but nothing that can’t keep.

The Robert Christian Band will be at The Villa Marine in Frankfort on the weekend of November 10^th & 11^th, playing much good music. We’ll be celebrating my friend Laura’s birthday there, so come on out and say hello.

For those who use Twitter, you can find my regular Tweet listed as KPatrickGlover, and my new story tweet at KPG_Words.

And I’ve been thinking about a little experiment over on ning, more on that next week…

 

 

Well, Ain’t That Amusing

I just typed my name into the browser, followed by the handy “.com” and was surprised to find a website selling mortgages, cell phones and international dating services. I wonder if anyone’s actually making money off it. Strange days…

Let’s Talk About Truth

Seems that a few 9/11 Truthers were in the audience for Bill Maher’s show last night, acted like fools and got tossed out. This, of course, has sparked more Truther debates all over the net, including the one I’ve been reading today at Fark.

The problem here, is that we have a generation of people who’ve grown up watching a little old lady solve complex murder cases by seeing a single inconsistency and making incredible leaps of logic to reveal the solution. (I use Murder She Wrote as illustration here, I’m not laying total blame on Angela Lansbury. That actually falls on the whole TV mystery genre.) These people actually think that this is how deductive reasoning works.

It’s not.

You never see the whole process on a TV show. It does start with noticing little inconsistencies. But from there, you start looking for simple explanations to those inconsistencies. The solution is the simplest one that you can find that doesn’t contradict the existing facts. Occam’s Razor.

The Truthers take the inconsistencies that they find and leap to huge, elaborate theories to fill them in, ignoring the new inconsistencies that they create in the process. Every expert that comes along to explain the original inconsistencies with reason is laughed off as part of the conspiracy. (Apparently, Popular Mechanics is part of the conspiracy.)

Does this mean that I find the US government to be completely blameless when it comes to the events of 9/11? No. I think a strong case can be made that failures to properly respond to intelligence reports allowed those events to occur. That is not, however, the same thing as claiming our government engineered those attacks. No evidence exists for such a claim.

And another thing. Truthers frequently cite financial gain as the motive for this giant deception. As if the entire disaster was just a ruse to get Halliburton into Iraq. I find war profiteering claims to be obnoxious enough, but to insist that the profiteering was premeditated? Somebody needs their fucking lithium.

Let’s talk about Dick Chaney and Halliburton for a second. Actually, let’s talk about car repair first. (I know, bear with me.) Let’s say that you own an auto repair shop. Better yet, your best friend owns one. Now, you’re out on a date with this girl that you like and she mentions that her car’s not running properly. The first thing you think of is, hey, I’ve got a friend that’s got an auto shop. He’s a great mechanic. Let’s take your car over to him, he’ll get you fixed up.

Doesn’t sound so bad, does it? Not particularly immoral or dishonest? So, we’re in the middle of national crisis and the Vice President suggests dealing with a company where he knows the people and is familiar with their work. And somehow, this is evil and unjust. Profiteering? Uh-huh.

Sorry, bit of a tangent, there. Can’t believe I actually wrote two paragraphs defending Dick Fucking Cheney. Weird.

Anyway, the Truthers are just another deluded group of people who believe some totally wacky things. Like Scientologists. Or UFOligist. Or Flat Earthers. Or Christians. Or Republicans. Or Democrats. Or people who watch wrestling. Or people who watch The View. Or Fox News. Or CNN. Or…..

I suddenly feel very alone.

Time To Simplify

Feeling distracted of late, feeling the need to simplify.

Part of that stems from my wife being gone (she’s away at school). Part of it comes from a general malaise brought about by the change of season. Part of it, a dissatisfaction with where I am in my writing career as I approach 40.

I should be using this extra time and freedom productively, concentrating on my work, focusing on getting to where I need to be.

Instead it’s been filled with drinking, parties and bars. Hangovers and exhaustion. I’m not eating well, I’m not living well.

I enjoy spending time with my friends. But for whatever reason, many of my friends are in the midst of rather intense personal dramas. A night that starts by listening to a band at the local pub could very well end with domestic violence and police cars. And the waves of resonating aftershocks and hand-wringing that follow such an event.

I also have a tendency to try to juggle too many projects at once. Not just writing, it’s always useful to have more than one story (or script, or essay) to work on, it allows you to switch gears and keeps your mind sharp. But I also work a full time job, so trying to manage a band or arrange a charity concert might be piling a little too much on the plate.

The act of writing a blog is useful, it keeps the words flowing. Until you start dealing with code and design issues, then you’re back to draining time and energy from the work.

Time for a back to basics approach. A more defined schedule. Eat better. Take vitamins. Less drinking, more writing. Don’t let chores stack up so that I always have the feeling that there’s something I SHOULD be doing.

I think the key is to quit trying to distract myself from the current situation and start trying to take advantage of it. Immerse myself in the stories, enjoy the work. Let that be my escape.

Musings on Writers, Portrayals and Californication

Most movies or TV shows that involve writers as main characters make me laugh.

They never get it right. The writer is portrayed as just an ordinary guy (Stephen King does this a lot), as some sophisticated font of knowledge (usually older writer, Hemmingway Syndrome), or an amateur sleuth who gets called on by the inept local police force to help them solve a complicated mystery (a la Murder She Wrote).

The dirty little secret here is that, for the most part, writers are a bit on the socially inept side. You see, we spend a lot of time by ourselves, locked in our own heads. Often, even when we’re with people, our thoughts are turned inward.

When we talk to you, we don’t just hear what you say. We hear (or try to hear) why you said it. Because motivation means much more than actual words. Every writer knows that.

So between taking little vacations in our own heads, and hearing a little more than most people hear in a conversation, we don’t tend to respond in the ways that you might expect us to respond. What we say might tend to be inappropriate, sarcastic, sometimes downright insulting. In our minds though, there’s nothing else we could have said. It was the right line for the scene, the perfect piece of dialogue.

It is not our fault that you’re a real person and not a character in a story.

Which brings me, in a roundabout way, to Californication, a new series airing on Showtime. It stars David Duchovny as a (you guessed it) writer, living in L.A. It is not only Duchovny’s best work, but the single best depiction of a writer that I have ever seen on film. The dialogue is a work of art.

You should watch it, unless of course you don’t like writers.