We Are Freaks….

Try this little experiment. Pick a public place, a grocery store, a bar, maybe a mall. Stand there with a clip board and ask random strangers what their favorite lolcat is. Ask them if they know that longcat is looonnnggg. See if they know who Anonymous is locked in battle against.

We have this weird disconnect with the world these days. The internet has provided us with such a detailed method of social interaction and we have formed amazing communities around it. Places where we interact with hundreds, even thousands of people. We spend so much time there, that it’s easy to forget that most of the people around us in real life, well, don’t.

And when we starts saying things like “Jesus Christ, it’s a lion, get in the car”, they just sort of stare at us blankly. It’s a situation I’ve become adjusted to and even enjoy. I like those blank stares. I like being in on the joke, no matter how stupid the joke may be.

And let’s face it, a lot of our internet jokes are really stupid. They become funny through repetition or through absurdity, but they’d never make decent stand up material.

The internet makes us feel like we’re on the cutting edge of a great, societal leap forward. But are we? The outside world seems to be sludging along at the same pace as it always has, full of willful ignorance and uninformed opinions about, well, everything.

I may be sitting at my computer tonight, discussing the role of the femme fatale in classic film noir and how to bring that into a more modern piece without resorting to cliche. However, Bubba and Billy Joe are still drinking a twelve pack of Coors and going out to tip some cows.

Sometimes I wish I could live like a complete hermit, locked away from the real humans walking around out there, limiting my social interactions to you, my internet friends. You are my people…..

Much Ado About Absolutely Nothing…

I got nothing.

I’m following all the political races, but I don’t seem to have anything to say about them.

I’ve read all the Britney headlines, they make me laugh, but they inspire no comment.

The news about Heath Ledger left me sad, but not with an overwhelming desire to speak about him. Truth be said, I’ve seen little of his work, although I am eager to see his Joker.

I’m watched a lot of movies lately, some good, some not so good. None has sparked a desire to write about them, although 3:10 To Yuma came close.

Winter has left me in a malaise that I’m struggling to break, with little success.

I may concentrate on some technical stuff, possibly moving the blog to its own domain, playing with widgets and possibly photo uploads via some desktop apps, maybe even integrate Twitter, expand the blog roll.

I may launch the End is Nigh project as a side page here.

Speaking of domains, maybe some web savvy friends can help me with a little problem. I once had my own domain registered, kpatrickglover.com , I foolishly let it lapse a couple of years ago, and I now appear to have a squatter. Anybody have any idea on how to go about reclaiming it?

And a New Year Begins to Unfold

The holidays have come and gone, another year has ticked by and we find ourselves in 2008. The WGA is still on strike, the TV season has turned to dust and we are faced with endless hours of reality programming. Of course there’s always politics to entertain us, the primary races on both sides of the aisle proving themselves unpredictable, which should be exciting but somehow isn’t.

Many folks have made New Year’s resolutions, a practice I normally shun, and yet this year, a change in my life has coincided with the New Year. I have become a vegetarian…

Which is a blatantly incorrect term for me. What I have actually done is ceased being a carnivore. I hate vegetables (with rare exception) and I don’t eat them. What I eat is a lot of pasta. Seafood. Potato. Fruit. Bread. My friend Gus has taken to calling me a carbohydratarian. As good a name as any.

The reason for the change is two fold. The first is health. I’ll be turning forty this year and quite frankly all the stories about people having heart attacks and dying with 50 pounds of undigested read meat clogging their arteries are a little bit alarming. I’m just getting started as a writer and I hope to live long enough to have a decent career.

The other reason? I can’t handle my own hypocrisy anymore. I’m an animal lover. (In general, I’m much fonder of animals than I am of people.) I could never kill an animal. Yet I was always able to rationalize that away with the knowledge that what I was eating had already been slaughtered and was on the shelves in the local super market. That rationalization stopped working for me.

So, no more meat.

It’s been about two weeks now. I appear to have more energy than before. And I’m losing some weight. Healthy, healthy, healthy. And every time I get a craving for bacon, I picture a little pig walking around.

Oink, Oink.

From Mr. Kent

I received the following email today from some asshat identifying himself as Chuck Kent:

The moment is coming Pat, when you will find out if your flippant attitude is okay, or if there is a God after all. That’s for sure! Open your eyes and notice that EVERYBODY dies! They have already found the error of their ways. Hovind may be fake, but that doesn’t prove anything about God, or real Christians! Atheist, cosmologist Alen Sandage was honest enough to say that existence is in itself a miracle, and therefore, there has to be a God as far as he’s concerned. Don’t miss the obvious…existence…how incredible!

God has solved our greatest problem…death. He has given us life eternal through His Son Jesus Christ. You must like pain! God is just trying to save us from pain. But, you kick back at God with your foul mouth, and curse God. You could change…but you wont. I’m wasting my time. You are Hell-bent. Just remember this email when you get there. When you do, it’s over…your ability to chose, I mean. Life isn’t over, but your situation will never, ever change, forever…but, I’m wasting my time again.

I’m assuming this is in reference to something I’ve said over at SEB, since I don’t recall discussing Mr. Hovind here at any point. My reply can be found below:

Yes, you’re wasting your time. More importantly, you’re wasting mine. Go fuck yourself.

Tony Sirico is King of The Weird Search Trends

Did Tony Sirico kill somebody today or something? I’ve got almost two dozens hits from people searing for Tony Sirico and the only time I’ve ever mentioned him was in a post about the finale of The Sopranos. And this is the only day he’s ever popped up in the search term list for here. Very strange.

Probably the most common search that brings people here these days is for “flickr girls”, which I guess shouldn’t surprise me. Some other search terms raise an eyebrow, though. Check out the following list:

things to do outside with 2 people

daleks speaking

neither land fucking

Aleister crowley ring

inside-out penis

maher part of the conspiracy

“on an on and on”

(and people think I’m strange….)

Time To Simplify

Feeling distracted of late, feeling the need to simplify.

Part of that stems from my wife being gone (she’s away at school). Part of it comes from a general malaise brought about by the change of season. Part of it, a dissatisfaction with where I am in my writing career as I approach 40.

I should be using this extra time and freedom productively, concentrating on my work, focusing on getting to where I need to be.

Instead it’s been filled with drinking, parties and bars. Hangovers and exhaustion. I’m not eating well, I’m not living well.

I enjoy spending time with my friends. But for whatever reason, many of my friends are in the midst of rather intense personal dramas. A night that starts by listening to a band at the local pub could very well end with domestic violence and police cars. And the waves of resonating aftershocks and hand-wringing that follow such an event.

I also have a tendency to try to juggle too many projects at once. Not just writing, it’s always useful to have more than one story (or script, or essay) to work on, it allows you to switch gears and keeps your mind sharp. But I also work a full time job, so trying to manage a band or arrange a charity concert might be piling a little too much on the plate.

The act of writing a blog is useful, it keeps the words flowing. Until you start dealing with code and design issues, then you’re back to draining time and energy from the work.

Time for a back to basics approach. A more defined schedule. Eat better. Take vitamins. Less drinking, more writing. Don’t let chores stack up so that I always have the feeling that there’s something I SHOULD be doing.

I think the key is to quit trying to distract myself from the current situation and start trying to take advantage of it. Immerse myself in the stories, enjoy the work. Let that be my escape.

Random Things I’m Actually Looking Forward To

Cloverfield

The Dark Knight

Duma Key

The next George Carlin special on HBO

Warren Ellis’ next novel

Iron Man with Robert Downey Jr.

JJ Abrams’ version of Star Trek

Astonishing X-Men: Stage 2

Ripper (The BBC TV movie)

The new Spenser novel (any day now)

trying Cowboy Beebop

listening to the New Springsteen CD

and maybe, just maybe, getting a good night’s sleep…..

View From The Outside # 1 - Desperate Times

I understand that racism is still a problem in this country, in this world. I do. And I sympathize. We need to do something to change the way we (as a people) think. Our public figures should be reprimanded for using speech that promotes racism and bigotry, whether they’re on a campaign stump or a comedy club, certain things just aren’t okay.

That said, there has to be a line somewhere.

Last week, on Desperate Housewives:

The episode showed actress Teri Hatcher, who plays Susan Mayer, asking during a medical consultation to check “those diplomas because I want to make sure that they’re not from some med school in the Philippines.”

It seems the Philippine Government immediately took offense and demanded an apology. When they got one, the decided that it wasn’t enough. They wish to lodge a formal protest with the US Government.

“I am mortally offended by the statement because it betrayed the racial prejudice and denigrates the excellent performance of world-class Filipino doctors in the US,” said Senator Miriam Santiago, whose sister is a doctor working in Los Angeles.

Now, just in case you’re hung-over (this is Sunday, after all) and haven’t fully grasped where I’m going with this. The Philippine Government wants the US Government to do something about a statement made by a BLOODY FICTIONAL CHARACTER!

We’re not talking about somebody’s role model here. This is Desperate Housewives. It contains adult humor and characters that, well, don’t really deserve a lot of respect. Teri Hatcher’s character, while not the worst of the lot, is no ball of virtue. The dialogue in question is entirely in character for her to utter.

So, what’s the fallout here? Is this going to be another area where we push our characters further outside the bounds of reality in deference to the gods of political correctness? Like that smoking thing. Cause, you know, everybody I know quit smoking when the characters on TV and in movies did.

Maybe we should censor all bad behavior from the characters that are ostensibly good guys? Don’t let them do anything a perfect role model wouldn’t do. We can give all the bad stuff, drinking, smoking, drugs, extra-marital sex over to the bad guys. And we can make them all wear black hats, just so we can identify them easier.

The good guys can wear white hats. Maybe carry a bible or something. That should reduce the need to think for ourselves while we watch television, don’t you think?

The Greatest Fark Thread of All Time

Here you go. Enjoy.

But dedicate a little time to it. It’ll take you an hour or so to read.

A Brief Pause Whilst i Adjust My Accoutrements!

Going off the grid for a couple of weeks to concentrate on writing. I’ll still be checking email, but that’s about it. See y’all in October…..